How That 'Rediscovery' Year Panned Out.

If there was an award for the year’s worst blogger, I’d be a good contender. Unfortunately, we all know life has a tendency to run away like toilet roll, but the end of 2018 completely swept me off my feet.

Back in February I grandly declared this was my year of ‘re-discovery’ and went off in different directions picking up photography, painting and drawing again, playing about with the website and eventually ended up in my old zone of graphic design. This felt right so I signed up for a course that would shape me up for running an online business from home and went hell for leather.

By September I had a plan, but as they say, tell God your plans and she’ll have a good laugh….

In October I made 2 sales of a rubber stamp (income - £1.25) - a great buzz - ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!

Early November we decided to move. Yup - just as things were going well in one direction - we upended everything and packed up 7 years + worth of stuff in to cardboard boxes (100s of them) and transplanted ourselves to the other end of the peninsula. Totally worth it for the space and views, but 3 weeks away from my desk and I was feeling bad that I’d not done anything towards my biz and starting to panic I was falling back into my old habits. I focused on getting back to the drawing board, attended 2 of the 4 live sessions of my course and settled down again. For a week.

November 30 - Boom - Grandson no 1 puts in a VERY early appearance in the world. Wonderful reason to down tools and head off to the UK for December - but I was totally fooling myself thinking I’d be able to keep up with my plan along the way. Nomading my way round 3 houses (2 sons + Mum), 3 times a week for 3 weeks, plus gatecrashing someone’s Christmas - it wasn’t going to happen. The most I managed was a Sunday afternoon at the kitchen table after my son nagged me to get it together and do something. (He has working from home NAILED and wasn’t taking my BS.)

The difference here being that his work is not a game or a hobby. He ‘s expected to get the job done or there’s no job. Whereas I was coming from a different place. I have to be accountable to me. And when I’m in the UK on family matters, that is what takes priority - consciously or not. Seriously, it felt so RIGHT and FUN to be cooking Sunday lunches, cleaning the flat, walking the dog and putting laundry away. The days at the hospital looking after Master Preemie were like Groundhog Day, only long and stressful for new Mum & Dad, and I wanted to make their home lives easier. I felt so Purposeful again.

However, things move on and much as I loved being in my old role as Mum, it isn’t my life (or even my house!) anymore. They are adults with their own responsibilities and, taking a leaf from my obviously very capable ‘boy’, resolved to change my attitude. (Isn’t it great when your kids think they know better than you, hahaha!) Flashback to my 40s when I was doing my degree with 4 boys plus pets on my hands and going through divorce. How did I do that? It was tough, but I got those damn assignments in, perfect or not. Despite the dinners and the heaps of laundry. I got that degree - my passport to a different life. (AHA Moment - That must be where he got his ethic!).

So, like one of my assignments, this post is running to the wire - we’re at the end of January already! Tapping back into that memory has meant I’ve spent Hibernation Month everyday at my desk, working through what I need to do to gain momentum and enjoy it this time round. A steep learning curve in many directions - new graphic tools, new marketing methods, lots of shiny new rabbit-holes to fall into…but basically ‘same meat, different gravy’ as my Gran used to say.

I’ve enjoyed the buzz of completing some graphics in Canva, of creating a suite of Wedding stationery as part of a week-long challenge, participating in Zoom seminars and critiques, but the biggest thrill is that this time round, I don’t need a university to pat me on the back, I can feel the achievements. This is the best discovery so far.

I’d love to know if anything here resonates with you. Drop me a line in the comments below or sign up to subscribe. Being 50 - something is a special place. Let’s share.